“Forgiveness is not easy. Abuse can outweigh our perceived strength. That is until we consider the love of Jesus Christ and His forgiveness towards us. “Daddy” was birthed from my redeemed forgiving heart. I found forgiving my daddy of his wrongs towards me as a child proved to bless us both. It allowed me to then forgive myself of my wrongs. Inner condemnation and toxic shame is bred through gateways of fear and unforgiveness. My daddy is now released from my resentment and free to heal knowing he is loved despite it all. Vietnam added to his inability to raise me . I suffered much as a child, homelessness and neglect with a number of other abuses. I share in more detail with other life tragedies in books to come. Our soldiers are only human. When my eyes began to see my daddy as a soul in need it did not erase his transgressions towards me but it did allow me to drop the offenses. The freedom is priceless. I pray it encourages your soul to do the same.”

Love,

Brenda Demonbreun

“Daddy”

Towering over the man who held my heart

Once young with a child’s innocence mesmerized with love for daddy

Now his eyes weakened from the loss of dignity

Frail with the years and its many turmoil

My womanhood projected resentment from an abusive past

Somehow my love for daddy changed into desperation and anger

His love towards me evaporated into a smoldering rejection

The smiles ceased, encouragement withheld, love but a memory

Hands that once held me in security now used as if a weapon against me

My walk now dysfunctional with insecurity and shame

I tried many years to find my validation through mirrors of daddy

Broken relationships that remind me of my broken worth

Attempting to create an image of what my mind accepted as love

The insincere smiles were familiar, his inability to commit a normal

Now daddy is wrinkled and bones lacking strength

My tears fall as I gaze upon his suffering body

Still that little girl longing for his love, smiles, and words of encouraging affirmation

Standing before him broken, yet tears falling with love for daddy

I reach for his feeble hand, but unable to make contact

His skin I have not known since I cannot even recall

I want to touch him and tell him my love for him never left my heart

I buried it with my hope to someday feel his love

Buried indeed but the embers alive and still in wait

The wait to tell daddy I never forgot my hero

Many a night I cried for you to love me without contempt

To remind me where you placed my crown so my eyes could see my worth

Now my eyes see daddy old and in despair

As I look upon his face, my crown reflects through his eyes

His demeanor has now changed, and his smile resurfaced

The daddy I once knew now humbled and in regret

Compassion floods my eyes as I look upon my hero

Forgiveness flooded through corroded vessels of resentment

The power of the choice to forgive my daddy of his absent love

The wounds of my hope now healed from the strength of Christ infused forgiveness

My crown was never lost only hid in layers of tallied offense

Daddy accept the peace and forgiveness our Savior has gifted

Your daughter now delighted as she looks upon your face

As now the battle is laid to rest

My love for you is never ending, my heart rests with the renewal of our souls

My crown in position, my worth settled, and my hope never in question.

Love,

Brenda Demonbreun

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